What wife or husband among us would say that the point of marriage is the legal contract, rather than a living, breathing, life-giving union experienced each day in relationship? In as much we are the bride of Christ, it seems that some are more interested in their marriage certificate than in communion with (knowing) the One who is in us and whom we are in.
I’m convinced that the concept of oneness in marriage involves this principle: two halves fused together, making one. They are unable to properly function separately. Each requires the other for success. I do not make any decisions without letting me know what I’m thinking. Therefore, since my wife is ‘me,’ I’m not going to make decisions without letting ‘me’ know what is going on in ‘my’ thinking!”
I love my wife more now than I ever have in my life. Maybe that’s because we’ve had twenty-seven years to actually practice those vows and learn what it truly means to love someone with all of your heart. Have there been bumps in the road? Absolutely? But we refused to drive the marriage into the ditch. Instead, we stopped, both got out and patched the holes in the road.
If love is the soul of Christian existence, it must be at the heart of every other Christian virtue. Thus, for example, justice without love is legalism; faith without love is ideology; hope without love is self-centeredness; forgiveness without love is self-abasement; fortitude without love is recklessness; generosity without love is extravagance; care without love is mere duty; fidelity without love is servitude. Every virtue is an expression of love. No virtue is really a virtue unless it is permeated, or informed, by love.
You must enter into confrontation from the understanding that confrontation is not for your benefit, it is for the benefit of the heart of the person you feel you must confront.
February 29, 2020
If we want the advantages of love, then we must be willing to take the risks of love. And that requires vulnerability. Of course, we can refuse this path and trod another one devoid of openness. But the toll on such a road is extremely high.
February 1, 2020
Better to be married to a happy person with a thin wallet than a miserable person with a thick one.
We do not walk away from others to punish them; we turn away so the embers of anger can cool and reason can again rule our hearts.
It is a foolish woman who expects her husband to be to her that which only Jesus Christ Himself can be: always ready to forgive, totally understanding, unendingly patient, invariably tender and loving, unfailing in every area, anticipating every need, and making more than adequate provision. Such expectations put a man under an impossible strain.